Our children are blessings from the Universe. As parents, we know our responsibility to raise our children to be healthy, thriving, authentic, and autonomous human beings. But we may not realize that we are also raising ourselves while raising our children. Children can teach us many things if we are open to learning from them.
My children inspire me to be the best version of myself and to make a little progress every day in four areas of my life: physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual. Indeed, I believe my children are my greatest teachers. They are my gurus of happiness, wisdom, and purpose. I’ve learned many important things about life from my children:
- Love unconditionally. Love is the greatest gift we can give our children. Parents’ love toward their children is arguably the greatest love of all. But my children had shown me unconditional love every day: no matter how frustrated and upset they are, they always wanted to be with me. They teach me to choose love every day.
- Forgiveness. Children forget frustration, anger, or hurtful words easily; the younger they are, the faster the forgiveness. Children just don’t hold on to hate or grudges, and they can move from tears to happiness very quickly. Their forgiveness towards me not being a perfect parent is a gift I receive every day. We all make mistakes, but we forgive and move on, knowing that we are doing the best we can. I, as an adult, have learned not only to forgive others, but also to forgive myself for not being a perfect mom.
- Patience. Children can be challenging because they look at life differently than we do. An author mom once wrote, raising children was like taking a snail for a walk. We need patience and to give them space to see them struggle in a healthy way. Otherwise, they may never learn to walk or tie their shoelaces or while they face problems and challenges in life.
- Faith. Children taught me that all is well again and again. While my children were growing up, my husband and I had our fair share of kids’ sickness and scares. Problems like lactation, hearing, speech, far-sight, near-sight, homework neglection, friends’ issues… But those temporary worries all turned out to be ok in the end. Have faith, and most importantly love.
- Healing my childhood wounds. I had a difficult relationship with my own mom, who left me when I was a six-month-old baby. When she took me back nine years later, we didn’t get along at all. Like the comedian, Joe Wong said, “my childhood was ruined by my childhood memories.” I learned to heal those wounds through understanding and compassion towards my own mom after becoming a mom myself. I have compassion towards my mom and myself, knowing we both have limitations, weaknesses, and shortcomings.
- Learning and growing. Children are curious by nature. They learn and absorb new things fast. They encourage me with a lifelong learning mindset. I love showing my children the joy of learning and growing, and I am committed to be a lifelong learner and grow with them.
- Presence. Children live in the now—this very moment, while we adults worry about the past and the future. They teach us to stop and observe the small miracles we are experiencing at this very moment: the beautiful clouds, the clean running water, the morning birds in the trees, the blossoming flowers in the garden… Seeing the world through their eyes is the most rewarding thing about being a parent.
My children taught me that I don’t have to be a perfect mom. I just need to provide a safe, loving, and nurturing environment for them to grow up and be self-fulfilled. I just need to lead by example, walk my talk, and love them unconditionally. The rest, I’ll leave to the Universe.
